Play It Again, Sam

There was laughter in my marriage, yes, but there were tears also.  In time these told, and the marriage fell apart.  Five years elapsed before I wed again.  During that time I was a mother, a teacher, and a repeat participant in the rat race of romance.

But the second time you run that race, you find a part of your mind stands aside, remembering.  And you discover what you'd failed to notice in adolescence: everyone has his own love tune.  Yet while no two people sing the same lyrics, somehow all the refrains are familiar.  Do you remember:

the ulterior motives?

A meeting of the intellects

Is what I had in mind,

And you will note I tenderly tote

My brains in my behind.

the unrequited loves?

Acceptance spice with sparkling wit,

With understanding laced,

Such nectar have you offered me,

And sweet it is to taste.

But though I sip it gratefully,

I wish I could transmute

That cup of kindness to the wine

Of wild, forbidden fruit.

the thoughts of suicide?

Gladly did I join the dead,

And proud my epitaph:

"Starving she was offered bread,

But scorned the loaf made half."

the feelings of conquest?

So shrewdly did you set the snare,

So wily were your ways,

So skillfully within your lair

You lured your pliant prey,

That you would sure be distraught

To see us both as I:

So innocent a spider caught

By such a cunning fly!

the last goodbyes?

If rapport must reach an end,

These words as you forsake me:

Love, don't make of me a friend,

And friend, don't try to make me!

wanting to be in love again?

Who run to safety run from life,

And heavy is their due,

For they shall find they leave behind

The rapture with the rue.

being afraid to confess love?

You note each nuance of my tone,

Appraise each gesture I accord;

Expressions flitting 'cross my face

Are measured, sifted, weighed, and scored.

Observe my movements, scan my words;

Would that such scrutiny revealed

The truth from which you turn your gaze:

My love, unwillingly concealed.

the one who kept you dangling?

You told me the question was moot, my friend,

You asked me to wait patiently,

Your silence reveals, I now comprehend,

Your "moot" is spelled "m ‑-u ‑-t ‑-e!"

being loved back?

Does the earth forswear the flower?

Does the shore refuse the sea?

Does the star deny the evening sky?

Shall my love then turn from me?

learning that not all loves work out?

Two can walk their separate ways,

And as they move beyond,

Still span the void of time and space

With sure and silent bond.

And two can share a narrow bed

To moan their fevered words,

And lie as one, flesh pressed to flesh,

Alone, apart, unheard.

      being too proud to admit the pain?

Hide from him those haunted dreams,

Weep only to the waning moon,

Who in her sheath of silence seems

Proud in nadir as at noon.

      knowing you'd live through it?

With patience view your dream in ruins,

Twin blessings life reveals:

Not only does time heal all wounds,

It also wounds all heels.

And do you laugh now, or cry?