The Question Game

We share all sorts of things in our family: bathroom sinks, storage closets, once even the alarm clock.  I set it for 6:00 and the kids reset it for 7:30‑-the night before, without telling me.  But what really holds us together, I maintain, is our common addiction to the question game.  To promote togetherness I'll recount its rules for you.

The question game is a family sport, played indoors or out, by any number of people.  Teams are formed by pitting parents against children.  The object of the game is to determine which team can ask the most excitement laden, thought provoking, and generally soul shattering questions.  Handicaps are set according to the age of the child and how much regression the parent will admit to.  While questions may be asked at any time, experienced gamesters reserve them for an opponent's busier moments.  Here are some a skillful player might use:

Age group three to seven:

Where does water go when it melts? 

How far up is the sky?

Why can't I use that word you told me not to use?

Are you going to have any more babies?

Age group eight to thirteen:

Did you steal by baseball glove?

How do you get ink off a rug?

Are we having that again for supper?

Why are you mad at daddy?

     Age group fourteen to twenty-one:

Why is there never anything good to eat?

What's wrong with hitchhiking?

May I borrow the car?

How old do you have to be to get married?

     Parents:

Have you flossed your teeth?

Is your homework done already?

Haven't you eaten enough now?

Are you still on the phone?

What do you mean, go steady?

You call that music?

Must you wear your hair that way?

Where's the money I gave you last week?

Play begins with the first one up in the morning.  Three "I don't know's" by the parent is considered a forfeit; two "Oh, mom's" and a shrug lose the game for the child.  Although violence is permitted, it does not count as a response.  Side bets on the sanity of any player are prohibited: they are unsportsmanlike and out of place in a family game.  Moreover, nobody will cover you.

Now then, any questions?